NO!
It is just a TWO-LETTER word, and it is not a dirty one.
Is the simplest thing to say, yet we hesitate to say it because we believe that saying “NO” can upset people but it is necessary. This is true both at work and in personal relationship.
When we do not want to do something, yet we cannot refuse in the wish, to be good to others. We are afraid about people what they will think of you or how will they react. May be the person won`t like you anymore or you will ruin friendship, relationship or loose their favor or even more.
Saying “YES” may be makes other people happy, which makes you happy too because by nature humans are social creature and we love to help others when we can but at the same time saying “YES” also comes at a price in form of wastage of time and energy and also takes away from us the other opportunities.
At the same time by agreeing to do something every time doesn’t seem right, it may be comfortable for you but not always the right way to go.
I`ve had this problem before but the moment I learnt to say “NO” I became a happy person and I can say “NO” to the people politely and that too without any shame and regret.
Now before learning HOW TO SAY “NO” POLITELY understand that …
Why saying “NO” is difficult but important??
Or
Why to say “YES” when you want to say “NO”??
Or
What should one do while saying “NO” in a situation??
And in reply of this…..
First of all believe that saying “NO” can sometimes be generous and best thing you can do.
However, think about this- if the person is your friend they will understand. In other words, if it`s meant to be it will be.
If you hang yourself in between “YES” or “NO”, you will be wasting time which is extremely valuable. Therefore in the case when you don’t want do something learn to guard your time by saying “NO “and give yourself freedom to spend that time by doing something other which , you really love ,or maybe to be available for the new opportunities.
Believe me people will respect you even more when give them straightforward answer. It takes a little practice to say “NO” in a way that doesn’t offend people, much less to say it in a way that makes folks feel happy they asked.
Following are THREE-STEPS PLAN to say “NO” POLITELY….
STEP ONE- Practice yourself to say “NO”
Saying “NO” without hurting others is a skill. It is much easier to say “NO” to a proposal when we have sound reason for doing in a way to justify your denial beyond unclear understanding that we should avoid the commitment in question.
This means you need to create the reason for saying “NO” before we need it. We need to make own RULE BOOK to guide so that you don’t have strain over every proposal.
For example when my wife requested me to purchase a TOYOTA, I had to say “NO” because I already have a HONDA CITY, and thus saved myself from the stress I could have experienced while repaying the loan I would have taken.
In this one more example when one of my relative asked for a loan of Rs.2 lakhs for a year. Although he had promised to repay the same in prescribed time and that too with interest, I said “NO” and saved myself from sleepless night with a thought about the possibility of not getting back my hard earned money. In this way I saved myself and overtaxing my relationship in the long run. Therefore think about your wellbeing first and don’t feel blameworthy with this type of your dealing as there is nothing bad about it.
If you say “NO” once you will get used to the word and will say it with ease and without guilt.
STEP TWO- Say “NO” by cushioning it with kindness or a compliment
It is tricky but it can avoid your tons of your anxiety. I`ve found it incredibly helpful to have go-to ways to just to say “NO”.
With this you don’t always have to explain others when telling someone “NO” and still it`s more considerate to provide a straight-up “NO” rather than a non-response, because leaving people wondering tends to read as thoughtless.
It is always wise to keep this type of message brief and if possible to be bit short.
Here are 15 tactics of “CUSHIONING NO WITH KINDNESS OR A COMPLIMENT”
- APPRECIATION: “Thank you very much for your enthusiasm and support! I am sorry I am not being able to help you in this project this time.”
- LEAVE THE DOOR CRACKED: “I wished to be part of your project, since I am not available for next two months. Will you please ask me again then?”
- NOT NO, BUT NOT YES: “Let me think about it, and I will get back to you soon.”
- UNSPECIFIED BUT EFFECTIVE: “Thank you very much for asking my help, still that isn’t going to work out for me.”
- STRAIGHT FORWARD I AM SORRY: “I desired I could, yet it`s just not going to work right now.”
- ACCOMODATING: “This seems like great opportunity and thanks for thinking of me for this project, but I have some other commitment. Hence I can’t accommodate, but please keep in touch.”
- IMPARTIAL NO: “Thanks, Sadly, I have something else.”( Say it bluntly , then shut up)
- STRICT NO (Bad Example): “I can`t help with that.”
- STRICT NO (Better Example): “Sadly, I am afraid I can`t help with that.”
- SUGER COATED NO: “This is a sweet pitch, but our organization doesn’t have a budget for this kind of project right now.”
- TRY NEXT TIME: “None of those dates work for me, but I would love to be part of your project. Please send me some more dates.”
- MAKE ATTEMPT LAST MINUTE: “I can`t give my date this month, but I love to do that with you some positively. Will you call me right before you attempt again?”
- LET ME TAG YOU UP: “Truly I can`t do it, but I`ll bet ASHISH can. I will ask him for you.”
- MY FAMILY IS THE REASON: “Thanks very much for your invitation at your son`s marriage, that is the day of my daughter`s birthday which I never miss to celebrate with my family hence I shall not be able to attend your son`s marriage. I hope you will understand this.”
- SAY NOTHING: Finally keep it mind that “NOT ALL REQUESTS REQUIRE AN ANSWER.” It feels rude to ignore a request, but sometime it is the best way to keep things from getting awkward. At the same time you need not to explain yourself when telling someone “NO”.
With all of these ways to say “NO”, I suggest choose from above some favorites to practice, memorize, and use it effectively next time when you don’t commit in doing something.
STEP 3: STICK TO YOU PLAN AND DON’T LOOK BACK
It has been observed that when we make decision of saying “NO” we tend to change our mind later but we are less happy in doing this. However we have to believe in that once we take decision of saying “NO” stick to the same and don’t look back therefore allow to enjoy what we are doing.
This all requires lot of determination. Do not let anybody take you for granted. Saying “NO” is your right. Let others respect your right.
